Butterfly Strong

Ich bin bei dir

I heard it in the night deep and dark

A boom that shook my soul and lit a flame

A tempest great and gruesome hit my mark

And burned with its explosion pane by pane

After the shaking fearsome third degree

I rose by ears to peak the unbarred door

Though standing in the target’s sharp debris

Yet still she echoed stillness from her roar

Heeding the call I took my first dark steps

Away from all the knowns and all the loves

And grew against the quads and the biceps

Though blind to stars below and ground above

How stupid is the leaving home behind

The fool that cannot speak the reason why

But this was knowing less of mine to find

Than knowing, “but don’t lose this butterfly!”

——————

And so I followed fluttering ahead

That linked me to the boulders in my gut

No candy, water, jewel, mother, bread

Could satisfy this journey with shortcut

But oh the wingéd joy yet did not come

Sweet monarch led more landslides sharp my way

And primordial monsters laughed me dumb

The more I chased the more did faith decay

Then deep below the barrel of the earth

I heard my mother giving up her tongue

She told me so and father knew since birth

To them is where my safety should have clung

And there I played my final hand atop

The nearest touch of life my sense could make

Her image held cocooned in cold backdrop

A life against all sleep a glow awaked

——————

I dreamt before I died I saw her burst

And spill her colors’ liquid over stone

The tiny triumph’s beauty met my thirst

And sweetened my last intake with a moan

Yes death is near the paradise of yore

All muscled heights and burning let to ease

The ecstasy of endings after war

The purity of cure from love’s disease

Yet even death may bow to ancient time

And so I felt a nibble on my thumb

And metal bled like embryonic slime

Yet marching to its alchemical drum

Yet reaching for the softness of her flame

Yet recognizing me within her fear

I heard a voice that spoke my strangest name

That haunted me with me, “ichbinbeidir.”

——————

Don’t ask me where from courage took its core

Though hers or mine I still cannot quite say

But asking just this question o’er and o’er

Has been my task and savior to this day

For up I rose and carried on again

And more the mountains oceans space and time

And more the monsters more the angel men

I found within me our third paradigm

I traveled to the farthest place I could

My chase a storied means now much transformed

Each step a stronger print where once I stood

With dust and life and water love performed

I have no grand elixir on my back

To give to you my friends on this return

I have but words and butterflies to track

And faith that you will see and share in turn